Hello

Hello and welcome back to the Pomme. I am well aware that it has been over a month since the Pomme last came out but rest assured there is perfectly good reason for it.

Anniversaire

This year is a very important year as, on March 31st 2018, the first Pomme came out in its paper form. Since then it has modernised and gained fame with readers all around the globe; readers from England, readers from France, readers from Australia and even (occasionally) readers from Canada! Anyway before I get to carried away let’s get back to the topic on hand.

Riddle me this

I have decided to do a riddle Pomme which will be filled with brain teasers and riddles. Leave the answers in the comments and I will tell you wether or not you got them right in the next Pomme.

The Theresa Riddle

If Theresa’s daughters is my daughter’s mother, what am I to Theresa?

a) Mother

b) Grandmother

c) Daughter

d) Granddaughter

e) I am Theresa

The Five Sisters Riddle

There are five sisters in a room

Lily is reading

Olivia is eating

Ruby is playing chess

And Allegra is drawing

What is the fifth sister doing?

The Relative Riddle

A is the father of C

And D is the son of B

E is the brother of A

If C is the sister of D

How is B related to E?

Who Am I?

I appear once in a minute, twice in a moment but never in a thousand years. Who am I?

Other Riddles

Mary’s Mother has five children. Their names are Phoebe, Julie, Anne and Susan. What is the name of the fifth child?

Forwards I am heavy backwards I am not. What am I?

What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

What starts with T, ends with T and only has T in it?

Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain?

Special Mentions

Before I end the Pomme I would like to say a few Happy Birthdays. Firstly to Paul Simpson whose birthday is next Wednesday and secondly Jessica Simpson whose birthday was on the 22 of May.

Until Saturday

The next episode of the Pomme will contain the answers to the riddles and a new story written by Ruby Tuesday. I apologise for this Pomme being so short but it had to be done in a short amount of time so I was a bit rushed. Until next time!

The Late Pomme

I will firstly apologise for the fact that this Pomme is so late. It has been a hectic past month. As for the Valentines Pomme I did send it out but I recently discovered that there is a problem with my emails so I am assuming that it didn’t send. Once again my sincere apologies but back to the Pomme

08/03

As you know Friday was international women’s day (woohoo!). And as fewer of you may know we had a party for said day on Saturday. So I decided, as I had no other ideas do show you different famous women that you can dress up as for your own women’s party.

Queen Elizabeth

As you all know Queen Elizabeth I was the queen of England during the Golden Age of England. This costume is especially good for those of you who have ginger hair as she herself had vibrant red hair

Marie Antoinette

“Let them eat cake” is the most famous sentence said by Marie Antoinette. She was the wife of Louis XVI King of France during the French Revolution. Sadly she met a gruesome end by guillotine but she was still a famous female figure. 

Cleopatra

Cleopatra was the last Pharaoh of Egypt and quite possibly the most famous. She protected Egypt form roman invasion a few times and was all in all awesome Pharaoh. Plus the eye makeup is amazing.

Frida Kahlo

Moving on from rulers. Frida Kahlo was a Mexican painter famous for her self portraits and, of course, her impressive monobrow. This look is easy to recreate; just draw on a monobrow and a discreet moustache, and voila!

Malala Yousafzai 

Malala is the youngest person to have won a Nobel peace prize and quite possibly one of the most famous teenagers in the world. This look is also easy to recreate as all you need is a headscarf and you are done.

The Bearded Lady

The Bearded Lady form the Greatest Showman is a good costume for men as they already have the beard part. All they need do is wear a dress and put on a wig. And all women have to do is put on a fake beard.

Jessica Simpson

Possibly the most famous woman in history, Jessica Simpson, Head of Taawk.com, creator of TawwkTV and mother of four and a half, is the perfect person to dress up as. Put on a curly brown wig, something black with a vibrant orange jumper and you will immediately look like mirror images

Bubye!

I hope that you all enjoyed this weeks Pomme and that it inspired you to have your own women’s party and that it helped give you an idea of who to dress as. Until next time/

Hiayh

Or hello and welcome to this extra Pomme. As my sisters have each written short valentine stories thinking that there would be a Pommepetition I decided to do a Valentine themed extra Pomme. Hope you enjoy!

A History of Valentine

As we all know Valentine’s day, Saint Valentine’s day or the Feast of Saint Valentine, as it is also known, is today, the 14th of February. So, I have decided to do a little history so that you will not only leave this Pomme feeling amused but also feeling as if you learnt something.

As you may know Valentine’s day is named after Saint Valentine of Rome. Saint Valentine was imprisoned for preforming wedding ceremonies for soldiers who were at the time forbidden to marry. He was also imprisoned for ministering Christians who had been persecuted under the Roman Empire. According to the legend Saint Valentine restored sight to the blind daughter of his judge during his imprisonment. Before his execution on the 14th of February, he sent her a farewell letter signed Your Valentine which is surely where the tradition stems from.

Even though Valentine was alive in the 3rd century (226-269) it wasn’t until the 14th century that February 14th was recognised as a day for celebrating romance, when the tradition of courtly love was born.

It was in 18th century England when it evolved into a slightly more consumerist occasion. Lovers would give each other flowers, confectionary and first started sending cards, known as valentines. since then hand-written valentines have given way to mass-produced factory-made cards.

In Europe keys were given to lovers as a symbol of Romance. surprisingly enough they were also given to children to ward of epilepsy which is also known as Saint Valentine’s Malady.

Or hello and welcome to this extra Pomme. As my sisters have each written short valentine strories thinking that there would be a Pommepetition i decided to do a Valentine themed extra Pomme. Hope you enjoy!

A History of Valentine

As we all know Valentins day, Saint Valentines day or the Feast of Saint Valentine ,as it is also known, is today, the 14th of Febuary. So I have decided to do a little history so that you will not only leave this Pomme feeling amused but also feeling as if you learnt something.

As you may know Valentines day is named after Saint Valentine of Rome. Saint Valentine was imprisoned for preforming wedding ceremonies for soldiers who were at the time forbidden to marry. He was also imprisoned for ministering christians who had been persecuted under the Roman Empire. According to the legend Saint Valentine restored sight to the blind daughter of his judge during his imprisonement. Before his execution on the 14th of Febuary, he sent her a farewell letter signed Your Valentine which is surely where the tradiotion stems from.

Even though Valentine was alive in the 3rd century (226-269) it wasnt until the 14th century that febuary 14th was recognised as a day for celebrating romance, when the tradition of courtly love was born.

It was in 18th century England when it evolved into a slightlymore consumerist occasion. Lovers would give each other flowers, confectionary and first started sending cards, known as Valentines. since then hand written Valentines have given way to mass produced factory made cards.

In europe keys weregiven to lovers as a symbol of Romance. surprisingly enough they were also given to children to ward of epilepsey which is also known as Saint Valentines malady

Stories Galore!

The Annoyingmous Valentine

I was fourteen when I got my first Valentines. It was from “anonymous”. I was very, very annoyed. I thought that I made it very, very, very clear that I hated Valentine’s day, but no? I mean, seriously? Who cares! You get a
Valentine’s card, and basically never speak to that person ever again. But
anyway, I got a Valentine’s! I looked at it, thought “Huh, what’s this?” I opened it, and Poof! a weird heart sprung out. It kind of scared me, so I dropped. It landed on a button on the card! I mean, I have the worst luck! It started singing a song that went like this:

River, River, River, River, River, will you be my Valentine’s.

River, River…

Over and over. And over. And over. And over. And over.

Finally, it ended, so I threw it away. Later, that night, at midnight exactly, I could hear the bin groaning and creaking. I was terrified! I opened the lid and loads and loads of confetti sprung out. Clearly, throwing away the stupid Valentine’s pushed yet another button. Just my luck! I groaned and went back to sleep. In the morning, I checked the Valentine’s. As I picked it up, I accidentally pressed yet another button, causing water to fly in my face. As I picked it up, I accidentally pressed yet another button, causing water to fly in my face. Then, out flew a towel and a sponge. What was this cards mission?! I probably should open it. So, I did and a necklace flew out. “hmm”, I thought. Not so bad. Then the necklace bumped against my chest as I put it on, pushing a hidden button on the back. It sang:

River, River, River, River                                                                                              River will you be my Valentine’s                                                                             

The End!

By Ruby Tuesday 🙂  

The Chubby French Bat

Once upon a time there lived a boy called Brock and a girl called Violet. They went to the college every day. As time passed Brock gave Violet a valentine’s card. And Violet read the card and felt embarrassed. time passed, but not very much and Lola, her big sister started making fun of Violet and called Brock a Chubby French Bat.

After a year of calling Brock a Chubby French Bat everyone started doing it. But one night he turned into a French bat who was slightly on the chubby side. So, they never actually got to it so that was the end of the Chubby French Bat. It rimes so it must be true.

P.S. I love Brocks moustache.

By Olivia Jumelle

YOU

If you travel back many years ago

You’ll see a boy and girl you knew

The boy was an Aussie giving London a go

And the girl, well she was you

She was smart, with a heart of gold

She was tough and passionate too

Any chance she could be controlled?

No way, she was you

He fell in love, it’s an age-old tale

And you know this much is true

He couldn’t fight it, he would only fail

Because the girl was you

He had some doubts, I will not lie

But he worked out just what to do

And he never again asked how or why

You don’t, with someone like you

If you look around today with your eyes

You’ll see them both, those two

He looks like a man who won the big prize

And the woman, well she is you

Life moves pretty fast, or so they say

And now they are way more than two

But he stops and looks around each day

And still, he sees only you

The more things change they stay the same

Their world is both old and new

Nothing has put out loves burning flame

It can’t, because always there’s you

If you travel forward many years from now

You’ll see a man and wife, you know who

He’ll tell you his life was great because somehow

He got to spend it with you

They’re older of course, their love still strong

After the joys of life they have lived through

And he knew then what he knew all along

Life was better just by being with you.

Paris…Again

As I mentioned in my previous Pomme last weekend I went on a school trip to Paris, which is why the previous Pomme was all things Paris. I have decided to do a quick article on Paris before moving on to other matters. I hope you enjoy.

Where To, Stevo?

For those of you who are wondering what on earth is going on with the title the truthful answer is I have no idea. Now, moving on to Paris(not literally).

The Louvre

The Tuileries

The Champs Elysees

The Pantheon

The Foucault Pendulum

What you see before you is the famous Foucault Pendulum. It was invented in 1851 by scientist Leon Foucault and was one of the first experiments to give basic proof that the world rotates.

I also visited the Archaeological crypt under the Notre Dame and the Luxembourg Gardens but as there weren’t many interesting photo’s I decided not to show them. Let it be noted that none of these photos were taking by me as my phone had terrible camera quality.

The End

 Before any of you start complaining about how short this weeks Pomme is my sisters decided to write some valentines stories thinking that there would be a Pommepetition. So I will (hopefully) do a short valentines Pomme with all of their stories. If anyone else wants to do a story for Valentines, they are more than welcome but just know that there will not be any rewards so its just for fun. Until Thursday.

Salut

As you may know Salut is French for hi. So as you may have guessed the theme for this Pomme will probably be something French. If you did bravo, if not then I will tell you. The theme for this Pomme is…

Paris

As I am going on a school trip with my Latin class to Paris next Thursday , I have decided to do a little Did you know on France’s capital city, Paris.

Did You Know

• Spread over the world there are 38 cities named Paris

• The oldest bridge in Paris, built in 1604, is ironically named “Le Pont Neuf” which is French for “The New Bridge”.

•  The “Reseau Express Regional” was originally going to be called the “Metro Express Regional Defense-Etoile” but it had to be changed as the initials spell M.E.R.D.E

• As a great fan of books I had to put down this one: Paris is the city with the most libraries. It currently has a total of 830.

• There are exactly 470,000 trees in Paris, and we know this thanks to people who went around and counted them. We greatly appreciate it.

• The people of Paris love dogs. The number of dogs goes over half a million. Some restaurants where dogs are allowed have a special vacuum cleaner especially to clean up after the dogs.

A History of Paris

Paris was first habituated by the Parisii in the 3^rd century BC. The Romans conquered Paris in 52 BC and changed the name to Lutetia. They made a forum, temples, theatres and an amphitheatre. At the end of the western roman empire the towns name had changed again, to Parisius. The town was introduced to Christianity mid 3^rd century AD by saint Denis, the first Bishop of Paris. Clovis the Frank who was the first king of the Merovingian dynasty declared the city of Parisius the capital and changed the name yet again, to Paris. Under the rule of Hugh Capet Paris became the largest, most prosperous city in France. At the end of the 12^th century Paris became the political, religious, cultural and economic capital of France. In 1190, Philip Augustus, the current king, transformed Paris’s cathedral school into the University of Paris which drew in students from all over Europe. In 1328 Paris became Europe most populated city with 200,000 inhabitants compared with London’s 80,000 in 1300. During the Hundred Years War Paris was occupied by the English under Henry V until 1436 when it was liberated. In 1682 Paris was replaced as the capital of France by Versailles when king Louis XIV moved his court there. In 1789 the French Revolution took center stage in Paris when on the 14 of July a mob got a hold of thousands of guns and stormed the Bastille which was a symbol of the royal authority. The first city council met in the Hotel de Ville on the 15 of July and elected the astronomer Jean Sylvain Bailly as Mayor. Louis XVI and his family were made prisoners and imprisoned inside the Tuileries. In 1793 as the revolution became more violent the king, the queen and the mayor were guillotined along with over 16,000 other during the Reign of Terror. On the 9 of November 1799 Napoleon Bonaparte seized power as the First Consul. He replaced the elected government in Paris with a prefect who only reported to him and put up monuments to military glory including the Arc de Triomphe. The July Revolution of 1830 brought a new monarch, Louis Philippe I who opened the first railway in Paris in 1837. He was overthrown during a popular uprising in the streets of Paris in 1848 and was succeeded by Napoleon III.

A tout a l’heure

That is all the history for today folks. As usual the next Pomme will come out in two weeks time. I hope you enjoyed the Pomme and learned lots of new and interesting facts about the City of Light, Paris (did you know that Paris was not only called the City of Lights because of its intelectuall influence but because it was the first European town to use gas lamps to illuminate its streets). Until next time.

The Most Likely to Win Second Place:

It was the night before Christmas

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house nothing was moving not even a mouse. Don Coyote woke up with a smile on his lips. He had been having a wonderful dream.

In his dream Alexandra Ocasio Cortes had been elected President of the United States and she had declared that her dream was to unite the states of the world. “This is our planet” she declared “and it belongs to all of us – all the living things that cling to this fragile community…” Don Coyote, was thrilled to realise that she had included him in this community.

“We need to reimagine everything” she spoke, and it sounded like singing. 

Don Coyote jumped out of bed lit a small candle in the dark and fumbled around for his 12 string Portuguese guitar.

Finding it, and spending a frustratingly long time tuning it, but still filled with a surge of delight, Don Coyote stumbled to the window and threw it wide. There was a star shining brightly and it illuminated the sleeping world. For a moment he knew that when the children of this town awoke the next morning there would be an extraordinary new world for them to grow up in. The woken world would throw off the chains of fear that had kept them trapped in a world they never chose, and we would all dare to inhabit the world of our dreams.

He closed his eyes…

With the sounds of Alexandra’s voice still ringing in his ears he began to sing.

this is an age of dreaming

of a whole healed world

you can hear it in the way

old stories are retold

look around and listen,

you can hear it in the songs,

you can see it in their eyes

and how the population throngs

flowing in the streets

blowing in the wind

swirling with elation,

the way that dancers spin.

dream on crazy poets

with imagination and insight

dancer’s find your rhythm

in the garden of delight

painters fill your canvas

with truth so bold and bright

so, people see it and believe it

and turn all the wrongs to right

and fall in love with beauty

lose all their appetite

for the rat race no one wins

and the ruthless futile fight

the hopes and fears of all the years

flow through you tonight

Unknown to him he was not the only one awake. Unknown to him three travelers were abroad that night. They paused, and decided to have a vegan snack they had prepared earlier wrapped in paper of course, while they listened to the singing bear.

As they finished their nourishing and ethical snack, Don Coyote stopped singing, letting the final chord resonate into the still night air. The two wise women and the slightly less wise but still relatively cool man thought he was praying. When they looked closer, they saw he was crying. They looked at each other and in the silent night heard his heart beating and the joy emanating from his small body. Don Coyote closed the window and went back to bed. As the travelers continued on their way, they started to sing…

oh, little bear of pure delight

how sweet we hear thee sing

above the quiet and dreamless streets

your lovely dream words ring

and in these dark streets shineth

an everlasting light

the hopes and fears of all the years

flow through you tonight.

By Don Coyote AKA Tim Casswell

The Most Creative:

The Snowy Night

One very cold night there was a leaf. It was a very strange leaf for it was yellow and green. Most people didn’t see it, but one little girl saw it and picked it up and stared at it and kept walking. She tripped over a rock and fell onto the leaf but, to her astonishment, she fell right through the floor and landed on a pile of snow. She wondered where she was. She was in a field not far from her home. Usually she would be able to see her house, but she couldn’t. She didn’t care. She just wanted to do something with all the snow. So, she did. It took her two months, but she made a field full of snowmen and one snow dog.

By Allegra Simpson

The Most Likely to Become a Documentry:

A Christmas Tale

Once upon a time there were four little girls and they lived in France. For Christmas they went to England (with their mum and dad) to see their grandparents.

*

When they got there it was nearly Christmas time so there was loads of presents under the tree. They dove into the front room and realized that there was another Christmas tree and it was even more stuffed with presents. They went in the kitchen and they saw that there was a lot of food on the table so they each took a sandwich and went up stairs and when they got to the top they saw that there was their granny at the top waiting for them and they gave her a big hug and she asked them why they were all eating sandwiches. “Because were starving!” they said and so their granny said “why don’t we call your mum and dad in so we can all have dinner”

*

After dinner they played games in the front room and their granny won most of the games.

*

After games their granny took the girls up to bed and read The Little Princess to them. After one chapter of reading they were all asleep. So, their granny gave them all good night kisses then went downstairs to play more games.

*

They woke up at nine in the morning and went downstairs to the kitchen and ate their boiled eggs. Their granny sat down with them and their grandad who had a cold came downstairs and gave them all a big hug then ate his boiled eggs.

*

After breakfast they helped their granny send Christmas cards to all her friends and one of them gave them a bag of Quality Streets.

*

When they got home the table was laid so they had lunch.

*

After lunch they went into the front room and watched A Series of Unfortunate Events.

*

After watching A Series of Unfortunate Events, it was dinner time (I forgot to mention that it was Christmas eve, so they had a very posh dinner). For dinner there was fish pie, avocado spread and chips, cream buns and chocolate pudding

*

After stuffing themselves with food it was very late, so their granny put them to bed then went downstairs.

*

In the morning they woke each other up and went downstairs. In the front room everyone was standing there so they got all the presents and put them in different piles.

*

When they finished opening all the presents it was lunch time.

*

After lunch they played Monikers

*

After playing Monikers they went to the theatre and watched The Railway Children.

*

When they got home it was 10:30 so they went straight to bed (they had had dinner at the theatre).

*

The next day it was time to go home so they got up at 06:30. They had breakfast and made sure that they had left nothing behind and then they were off to France.

By Olivia Simpson

The Pommepetition Winner

The true story of Christmas

Please note, that although this is a fact based, historical story, names have been changed to protect the innocent and some of the facts have been completely made up.

A long time ago in a far away place there lived a man and woman.  The man was both very handsome and incredibly dim, his name was Paul.  He also suffered from a terrible case of dexlysia, no dixselya, no dyslexia, yes that’s it.  The woman went by the name of Mama J and she was virtually perfect in every single way.  She had though recently noticed that her tummy was getting larger and had been for quite some time although she didn’t really know why this was so.  Then one day in mid-January Paul and Mama J received a visit from an angel called Gabrielily who they think had maybe been hitting the sauce a bit heavily because she kept going on about something called a Pomme and then proceeded to tell them that Mama J was pregnant and that the father was God.  This confused Mama J because she happened to know that God was a woman and so she was unsure as to how She could be the father.  This also confused Paul because for one thing he was a bit dim and for another his dyslexia kicked in and he was a little frightened by the thought of an all knowing, all powerful being called Dog.  To make this knowledge a little less frightening he decided to think of this being as Big D.  The angel Gabrielily also told them that their baby was going to be a boy and that they should call him Jebus Efin H Christ.  Mama J didn’t think much of this name and anyway, this was before the days of ultrasound so how could they possibly know the sex of the baby, what if it was a girl.  So, they mostly ignored everything the angel Gabrielily had told them as the amount that she went on about her Pomme she was clearly French and had a problem with drinking too much cider.  And anyway, they did have plans to go and visit family because it was the holiday season (although why the holiday season was in mid-January shall forever remain a mystery) and so they had to make plans to go.  Mama J told Paul to get his stupid ass moving and get their clever ass ready for the journey and so he got the trusty donkey prepared for the trip and it wasn’t long before Sven (for that was the donkeys name, something to do with his Scandinavian ancestry) was champing at the bit, both figuratively and literally.  So, they set off on a long journey which for Mama J was quite unbearable; she was about 9 months pregnant after all and she was riding a donkey.  Plus, Paul kept going on about hearing barking, something to do with his new-found fear of Big D.  Mama J didn’t know what the hell he was on about and sometimes seriously wondered why she was with him.  Still, he was quite pretty, and it never hurt to have a bit of man candy to look at.  So, she put up with his jabbering.  After a day of travelling they were both very tired and needed to find a place to stay and rather than pay for accommodation they decided to free park in some stables where Sven could be nice and comfortable.  As they were settling down for the night Mama J started having pains and then with a theatrical splash on the hay covered floor, she realised that her water had broken.  They were both amazed that it happened exactly as it always happened on TV (a communications medium that would be invented in about 2000 years’ time).  And just like in real life, a mere 36 hours of pain, screaming and general abuse later the baby was born.  At this point there was a very strong smell of apples and the angel Gabrielily appeared again.  She had obviously come straight from the local inn and been on the cider again and was still going on about a Pommepetition although Mama J and Paul could barely understand a word she was saying.  They did tell her that their new baby was a girl and Paul said that Big D obviously did not know what he was on about and they would have to come up with a new name.  Gabrielily mumbled something incoherent about how she was going to tell some shepherds and get some wise men to bring some presents and then she was gone, never to be heard from again.  Meanwhile in a town not that far away they had seen a new star in the sky and in a way that can never satisfactorily be explained they knew that this meant a saviour had been born.  A town meeting was held, and it was agreed that the 3 wisest people in the town should go and take gifts to this new born child.  It is probably no surprise to anyone that the 3 wisest people in this town were women and so it was that Allegra, Olivia and Ruby were the ones to make this pilgrimage.  Of course, being wise, they knew that new parents needed gifts, so they had a talk about this and when asked what they would take Olivia replied ‘Gold’, Allegra replied ‘Frankincense’ and Ruby just said ‘Meh, I’ll pick something up at the services on the way’.  Thus, it was decided that the new saviour of womankind would be given gold, frankincense and meh.  As they set off, they were unsure of which direction to take and a bit of a discussion ensued.  Allegra suggested they just use a SatNav although it was pointed out to her that there were two major flaws with this plan. First, they didn’t have the actual address of where they were going and second, SatNavs were about 2000 years away from being invented.  So, Olivia just suggested they should wait until night time and just follow the new star in the sky.  The next morning, after walking through the night (which luckily given the time of year was cloudless) the three wise women arrived at the free park where they found a chipper and obviously well rested Paul on the look out for something or someone he referred to as Big D.  As these women were very wise, they knew there was no point wasting much time talking to him, although he was easy on the eye.  So, they went straight to Mama J and her new baby.  Mama J looked like she had been pulled through a ringer backwards and like she hadn’t had any sleep for at least a couple of days.  Just like a new mother.  But she also had something else, and this was a contentedness and a look of absolute and unconditional love for her new baby.  She told the wise women that this baby was a chosen one and was going to achieve greatness and be the saviour of all womankind and she told them that she would be called Jessica.  They all thought this was a perfect name.  Then the three wise women gave their gifts, Olivia gave her gold, Allegra gave her frankincense and Ruby gave the things she had picked up at the services.  These were some washable and reusable nappies, a sling for carrying the baby without hurting your back, a little kit for entertaining her on those long donkey rides and a couple of jumpsuits because they were just so cute.  She also bought a set of natural and completely plastic (a material 2000 years away that will surely ruin the planet) free bath and toiletry products and took the baby off her hands for a while so that she could have a bit of time to clean herself up and relax and start to feel human again.  Because Ruby truly was the wisest of them all.  Apart from that there is not much of the story left to tell.  The baby Jessica grew up as the saviour of all womankind although she had a tragic downfall when Santa Claus and his magic rabbit killed her with chocolate eggs so that the Coca Cola company could invent something called Christmas in order to further the consumerisation of the world.  Mama J and Paul lived a long and happy life even though Paul would not stop going on about someone called Big D.  Luckily for him he became a good-looking older man, not unlike Blake Carrington (a character about 2000 years away) so Mama J kept him around for purely decorative purposes.  As for the angel Gabrielily it is rumoured that she drowned in a vat of cider and there have been numerous unconfirmed reports of her occasionally appearing as a vision, incoherently mumbling about Pommes until people do what she wants and then disappearing again.  But these could all be completely made up.  And this story became an official part of herstory and was taught to children all over the world and it won every competition it was ever entered in!

By Paul Simpson

Howdy

And welcome to the 20th Pomme! Even though it is actually the 23rd Pomme as I did three Daily Pommes in paper form before I moved to digital but it is still really exciting. Now I have a long speech prepared in which i thank everyone but I have decided to skip all the boring stuff and get straight into it.

Pommepetition

I’m sure that you are all anxious to know who won the esteemed title of Pommepetition Winner. I wont keep you waiting any longer.

The true story of Christmas

Please note, that although this is a fact based, historical story, names have been changed to protect the innocent and some of the facts have been completely made up.

A long time ago in a far away place there lived a man and woman.  The man was both very handsome and incredibly dim, his name was Paul.  He also suffered from a terrible case of dexlysia, no dixselya, no dyslexia, yes that’s it.  The woman went by the name of Mama J and she was virtually perfect in every single way.  She had though recently noticed that her tummy was getting larger and had been for quite some time although she didn’t really know why this was so.  Then one day in mid-January Paul and Mama J received a visit from an angel called Gabrielily who they think had maybe been hitting the sauce a bit heavily because she kept going on about something called a Pomme and then proceeded to tell them that Mama J was pregnant and that the father was God.  This confused Mama J because she happened to know that God was a woman and so she was unsure as to how She could be the father.  This also confused Paul because for one thing he was a bit dim and for another his dyslexia kicked in and he was a little frightened by the thought of an all knowing, all powerful being called Dog.  To make this knowledge a little less frightening he decided to think of this being as Big D.  The angel Gabrielily also told them that their baby was going to be a boy and that they should call him Jebus Efin H Christ.  Mama J didn’t think much of this name and anyway, this was before the days of ultrasound so how could they possibly know the sex of the baby, what if it was a girl.  So, they mostly ignored everything the angel Gabrielily had told them as the amount that she went on about her Pomme she was clearly French and had a problem with drinking too much cider.  And anyway, they did have plans to go and visit family because it was the holiday season (although why the holiday season was in mid-January shall forever remain a mystery) and so they had to make plans to go.  Mama J told Paul to get his stupid ass moving and get their clever ass ready for the journey and so he got the trusty donkey prepared for the trip and it wasn’t long before Sven (for that was the donkeys name, something to do with his Scandinavian ancestry) was champing at the bit, both figuratively and literally.  So, they set off on a long journey which for Mama J was quite unbearable; she was about 9 months pregnant after all and she was riding a donkey.  Plus, Paul kept going on about hearing barking, something to do with his new-found fear of Big D.  Mama J didn’t know what the hell he was on about and sometimes seriously wondered why she was with him.  Still, he was quite pretty, and it never hurt to have a bit of man candy to look at.  So, she put up with his jabbering.  After a day of travelling they were both very tired and needed to find a place to stay and rather than pay for accommodation they decided to free park in some stables where Sven could be nice and comfortable.  As they were settling down for the night Mama J started having pains and then with a theatrical splash on the hay covered floor, she realised that her water had broken.  They were both amazed that it happened exactly as it always happened on TV (a communications medium that would be invented in about 2000 years’ time).  And just like in real life, a mere 36 hours of pain, screaming and general abuse later the baby was born.  At this point there was a very strong smell of apples and the angel Gabrielily appeared again.  She had obviously come straight from the local inn and been on the cider again and was still going on about a Pommepetition although Mama J and Paul could barely understand a word she was saying.  They did tell her that their new baby was a girl and Paul said that Big D obviously did not know what he was on about and they would have to come up with a new name.  Gabrielily mumbled something incoherent about how she was going to tell some shepherds and get some wise men to bring some presents and then she was gone, never to be heard from again.  Meanwhile in a town not that far away they had seen a new star in the sky and in a way that can never satisfactorily be explained they knew that this meant a saviour had been born.  A town meeting was held, and it was agreed that the 3 wisest people in the town should go and take gifts to this new born child.  It is probably no surprise to anyone that the 3 wisest people in this town were women and so it was that Allegra, Olivia and Ruby were the ones to make this pilgrimage.  Of course, being wise, they knew that new parents needed gifts, so they had a talk about this and when asked what they would take Olivia replied ‘Gold’, Allegra replied ‘Frankincense’ and Ruby just said ‘Meh, I’ll pick something up at the services on the way’.  Thus, it was decided that the new saviour of womankind would be given gold, frankincense and meh.  As they set off, they were unsure of which direction to take and a bit of a discussion ensued.  Allegra suggested they just use a SatNav although it was pointed out to her that there were two major flaws with this plan. First, they didn’t have the actual address of where they were going and second, SatNavs were about 2000 years away from being invented.  So, Olivia just suggested they should wait until night time and just follow the new star in the sky.  The next morning, after walking through the night (which luckily given the time of year was cloudless) the three wise women arrived at the free park where they found a chipper and obviously well rested Paul on the look out for something or someone he referred to as Big D.  As these women were very wise, they knew there was no point wasting much time talking to him, although he was easy on the eye.  So, they went straight to Mama J and her new baby.  Mama J looked like she had been pulled through a ringer backwards and like she hadn’t had any sleep for at least a couple of days.  Just like a new mother.  But she also had something else, and this was a contentedness and a look of absolute and unconditional love for her new baby.  She told the wise women that this baby was a chosen one and was going to achieve greatness and be the saviour of all womankind and she told them that she would be called Jessica.  They all thought this was a perfect name.  Then the three wise women gave their gifts, Olivia gave her gold, Allegra gave her frankincense and Ruby gave the things she had picked up at the services.  These were some washable and reusable nappies, a sling for carrying the baby without hurting your back, a little kit for entertaining her on those long donkey rides and a couple of jumpsuits because they were just so cute.  She also bought a set of natural and completely plastic (a material 2000 years away that will surely ruin the planet) free bath and toiletry products and took the baby off her hands for a while so that she could have a bit of time to clean herself up and relax and start to feel human again.  Because Ruby truly was the wisest of them all.  Apart from that there is not much of the story left to tell.  The baby Jessica grew up as the saviour of all womankind although she had a tragic downfall when Santa Claus and his magic rabbit killed her with chocolate eggs so that the Coca Cola company could invent something called Christmas in order to further the consumerisation of the world.  Mama J and Paul lived a long and happy life even though Paul would not stop going on about someone called Big D.  Luckily for him he became a good-looking older man, not unlike Blake Carrington (a character about 2000 years away) so Mama J kept him around for purely decorative purposes.  As for the angel Gabrielily it is rumoured that she drowned in a vat of cider and there have been numerous unconfirmed reports of her occasionally appearing as a vision, incoherently mumbling about Pommes until people do what she wants and then disappearing again.  But these could all be completely made up.  And this story became an official part of herstory and was taught to children all over the world and it won every competition it was ever entered in!

Ciao

i hoped you enjoyed the Pomme and agree with my decision regarding the Pommepetition. Click here to read all the other stories which were just as awesome. Until next time.

Привет

Or hello, which ever you prefer. This week’s language is Russian as I felt that Russian was a very Christmassy language as in Russia there is a lot of snow. Anyway hello and welcome to The Daily Pomme #19. Enjoy!

Pommepetition

We have decided to do yet another story Pommepetition except this one will obviously be Christmas themed. So write a Christmas themed short story and email it to me. This could be a chance for those of you who didn’t win last time to gain the esteemed title of Pommepetition Winner. And if you don’t, never mind there is always Easter!

Newsletter

Last Christmas we did a rendition of Th Nativity story for our Christmas video (click here to see it), this year we are doing a version of A Christmas Carol with Paul Simpson playing Ebenezer Scrooge. It should be out on December 25^th AKA Christmas day, but productions may be delayed so the latest it will come out on will be New Year’s Eve.

Christmas!

Yes people it is that time of year. So I have decided to a thing on Christmas traditions around the world.

United Kingdom and France

In France and the U.K Christmas is celebrated in a fairly similar way. They put up Christmas trees, sing Christmas carols, give presents… etc, etc. In France it is slightly more religious than in the U.K. another difference is that in France, instead of putting stockings up on the fireplace they put shoes or socks underneath the Christmas tree.

China

In China Christmas day is only a legal public holiday in Hong Kong and Macau. In the rest of china Christmas isn’t really celebrated. Gifts are given but it is mainly a commercial advertising scheme.

South Africa

In South Africa Christmas is celebrated in a fairly similar way to Europe. Giving presents, Christmas trees… In some towns and cities groups of people come together and sing Christmas carols by firelight and donate clothes and toys to needy children.

India

In India Christmas is celebrated despite it being a non-Catholic country. Many people in India decorate their houses with brightly lit stars and give out cakes and sweets to their neighbours. In North and North-West India Christmas is called Big Day and some people plant trees on this day

 

Прощай

I hope you enjoyed this weeks Pomme and are looking forward to the next one which will come out after Christmas. Don’t forget to write a short story for the Christmas Pommepetition. Until next time!

Bonjourno

And welcome to the 18th Daily Pomme. With all the recent goings on with Mars I have decided to make this Pomme space themed. I hope you enjoy!

Mars

As some of you may know there is a lot of interesting discoveries going on about the fourth planet from the sun, Mars. So I have decided to do a little Mars related quiz. It will probably be easy as everyone will probably cheat and look up the answers online but I am going to do one anyway. Answers can be given via email or comment depending on your preference.

1. What is Mars sometimes referred to as?
2. How far away is Mars from the Sun?
3. What is the largest volcano in the solar system called?
4. How many moons does Mars have?
5. How high is the larges volcano in the solar system?
6. What is the average temperature on Mars?

And that is it! Please send your answers by email or write them down in the comments.

The Solar System

While on the topic I felt like doing a short fact file on all of the planets in our solar system including my favourite, Pluto.

Mercury

Mercury is the closest planet to the sun at a distance of 57,91 million km. A ‘day’ on Mercury lasts 156 Earth days. During the day temperatures can rise to as much as 420^oC which is too hot for there to be any life. After sunset the temperature drops by 600^oC to -180^oC. It has no atmosphere, so it is unprotected from the drastic temperature changes and meteorite bombardment which is why the surface is covered in craters.

Venus

Venus is the closest planet to Earth and is 108,2 million km away from the sun. It is only slightly smaller than Earth at 12,100 km across. It has a dense atmosphere of poisonous gases which hide its surface from view. There are gases in the atmosphere which trap the heat from the sun and make the surface of Venus a stonking 480^oC which is even hotter than Mercury! It has sulphuric acid clouds which make it even more unpleasant. It is sometimes called The Evening Star as it is can sometimes be seen shining in the sky just after sunset. Only the sun and the moon shine brighter.

Earth

Earth is the only know planet to support water in all three of its forms (gas, liquid and solid) and consequentially, Life. It is 149,6 million km away from the sun and has a diameter of 12,700km. The atmosphere on Earth completely surrounds it and protects the surface. It lets sunlight trough but denies entry to more harmful rays. All but the largest of meteors are burned up in the atmosphere. Plus, without the atmosphere we would all be dead from suffocation.

Jupiter

Jupiter is the largest planet our solar system. It is a gigantic ball of gas and liquid and has a diameter of 142,984 Km. It is 1500 times larger than Earth and three times more massive than al the other planets put together. A “day” on  Jupiter lasts just under ten hours on Earth. This fast rotation powers ginormous stars in Jupiter’s atmosphere. The Great Red Spot was first seen over 300 years ago and has shown no signs of dying down. Jupiter is orbited by 67 moons, the largest of which are Europa, Io, Callisto and Ganymede. They are called The Galilean Moons as they were first spotted by an Italian astronomer called Galileo Galilei in 1610. Io is the only place other than Earth in the Solar System on which active volcanos have been sighted.

Saturn

Saturn is twice as far from the Sun than Jupiter at a distance of 1,4 billion km. Only 4 spacecrafts sent to Saturn have ever visited it, and the fourth was the only one that actually went into orbit around Saturn and captured photographs, in 2004. As you know, Jupiter has the most moons orbiting it with 67, but Saturn comes a close second with 62. But most of them are tiny, at just a few km across, and they have no official names. It was difficult to tell how long it took for Saturn to orbit the sun, because many measurements have been made. One was 10 hours and 14 minutes, but another said 10 hours and 45 minutes. Astronomers have finally determined that it takes 10 hours,32 minutes and 35 seconds. No one knows how old Saturn’s rings are: have they been around for 4.54 billion years, or have they been formed recently, when the 300 km ice moon was torn apart by Saturn’s gravity, forming a ring of ice?

Uranus

Uranus, everyone’s favourite planet, is 2,871 billion km away from the sun. It cannot be seen with a naked eye. It was first discovered. It was discovered by William Herschel. It is an odd planet in that it spins on its side. The winds at the top of Uranus’ atmosphere blow at a speed of 700 km/h. It has fifteen small moons. One of its moons, Miranda, is one of the most fascinating sights in the solar system. Its surface is made up of huge cliffs and ridges. Scientists believe that it was hit by a meteor and smashed into pieces then was gradually pulled back together by gravity.

Neptune

Neptune was discovered in 1846. It is 4,5 billion km from the sun and has the fastest winds in the solar system. They rip through Neptune’s atmosphere at a speed of up to 2000 km/h. These winds sometimes create storms one of which is as big as earth itself. It has 8 moons. The largest moon, Tritone, may very well be the coldest place in the solar system with a surface temperature of about -235^oC

Pluto

Pluto is named after a Greek god of the underworld. In 2006, Pluto was reclassified a dwarf planet. It happened because a planet was reclassified as a celestial body that:

• Is in orbit around the sun
• Has a sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape
• Has a cleared neighbourhood around its orbit.

Pluto :

• Is in orbit around the sun
• Has a sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (Nearly round) shape
• Does not have a cleared neighbourhood around its orbit.

Pluto was discovered on February 18^th, 1930 by the Lowell observatory. In the 76 years between Pluto being discovered and the time it was reclassified as a dwarf planet, it completed under a third of its orbit around the Sun. Pluto has five known moons: Charon (discovered in 1978) Hydra and Nyx (both discovered in 2005), Kerberos {originally P4} (discovered in 2011) and Styx {originally P5} (discovered in 2012).

Addio

First, I would like to thank Ruby Tuesday for helping me with this weeks Pomme. I could probably not have done it on time without her. I hope you all enjoyed this week’s Pomme and I will yet again inform you that the answers to the quiz can be given via email or comment. Until next time

Salve

(Salve means hello in Latin and the V is pronounced U). Hello and welcome to this week’s Pomme. I am so Sorry that I did not have this out yesterday but to be honest I had completely forgotten about it. Again, I am really sorry and without further ado let’s start The Daily Pomme #17.

Anglais

I was rather stumped for ideas for this week’s Pomme. A few weeks ago, in my English class we had to write a Petit Expression Ecrite, which is basically a short story. I, of course, got 20/20 like the amazing student I am (considering I am English it’s not that great a feat) Here was the topic our teacher gave us:  You have just moved to America and have started a whole new school. Write the first chapter of your diary. Remember to write your new resolutions for this school year.

Here is what I wrote:

Sunday, September 2^nd, 2018

I still can’t believe that I live in Miami. It was a shock to us all when mum and dad told us that we were moving to America. We have been in America for a month now, yet I feel like so much longer. I have spent these last few weeks worrying about starting a new school. I am worried that the work level will be more advanced then it is in England. I was the top of my class back home, so I hope it won’t be too hard. Worrying aside, I can’t wait until school starts tomorrow!

Monday, September 3^rd, 2018

I just got back from school. It is huge! In my old there was only about 70 students in the whole school. My new school has more like 270 pupils. Its just so big! I almost got lost twice on the way to class. Luckily my new friend, Tia Vezga, helped me find my way or I would have gotten lost for sure. We re both in homeroom B together there are three homerooms, A, B, and C, for each grade. As a school project we had to come up with resolutions for the school year. Here are mine:

• I will get good grades
• I will work hard and do homework
• I will be a good pupil
• I will pay attention in class
• I will not copy anyone else’s work
• I will always have all of my school supplies

We have so many different classes here. In England we mainly had Maths and English. We did occasionally have History and Sport, but we only had Science and Art once a week. In my new school we have English, Maths, French, Art, Science, Sport, Technology, Music and Acting. We have a different classroom and teacher for each. My favourite teacher is the English teacher. She also used to live in England but has been living in Miami for five years now. I can hear mum calling. Got to go!

 Relatable

I kind of based this book on my life. As you may know my family moved from Wales to France when I was 9. I went from a tiny school of 30 students to a big school of 130 students. I just had an extra struggle; the language barrier. Luckily there was a girl called Rita in my class who, though she had been living in France her whole life, could speak perfect English as her parents were English.

Vale

Is Latin for goodbye. I really hope you guys enjoyed this week’s Pomme and are looking forward to next week’s Pomme. Again, I am sorry that it came out late. Until next week, Vale (goodbye)